Alps Everywhere

I’m sitting in front of the University of Bern in Switzerland. While it’s true that Einstein was working as a patent clerk in town when he wrote his revolutionary papers on relativity, he did teach here afterwards–there’s an informational kiosk in four language on the subject a few yards away.

Beyond the fairy-tale clock towers and domes of the old town, the Alps loom. Since it’s early in the morning on a sunny day, the glaciers on top of the mountains are pale pink and blue, just a few shades lighter than the sky. In face, the scattered clouds look more solid and substantial–the Alps could have been painted on the horizon in watercolors.

In other words, Bern is just as beautiful as I had been told–good news, as I might well be moving here. However, I have learned a shocking secret about the Swiss. I have always imagined that they were an astoundingly tidy people. That’s because their cities really are incredibly clean and pleasant–you just don’t see litter in Switzerland. But right now I’m looking at a vile mess of plastic bottles and beer cans scattered all over the place. College students are the same everywhere, I suspect, even the Swiss ones. I can’t remember a single quad at Harvard so thoroughly trashed, although perhaps my memory is selective. Then again, the weather in Cambridge is rarely so gorgeous, and despite anything you might have heard, the campus just isn’t that pretty. Skyscrapers and red brick cannot compare with the Alps, so Harvard students don’t spend that much lolling around outside. There are much better places to drink on campus.

Nevertheless, as I write, a friendly man in orange and white is tidying the green, even separating the plastic from the glass and aluminum. Campus will be spotless before the first student wakes up and the early-bird tourists with an interest in science find their way to the university. So it’s not so much that the Swiss are naturally more perfect than anybody else–they are just faster and better at cleaning up.

I can’t help but feel there is a message in this for writers struggling through editing a messy first draft. But, on that subject, I should probably just get back to work and leave the philosophizing to the gentleman in orange and white.